Praying Friends and Loved Ones,
I suppose I should start this message by telling you that we do not have a referral yet. Sorry to disappoint if you just tuned in hoping for a cute photo of our babe. We thought it would be good to send an update anyway, as we have many asking how things are going and if we have had any news. By the way – never avoid asking; it will always be okay. We’ve had some people express concern that it might be a sore thing to discuss if we haven’t any news to share. However, we expect people to ask how things are going; we know they will ask because they care, and we are happy to talk. Expecting otherwise would be unreasonable on our part.
As we wait, there is no lack of things to do to keep us busy and occupied. Life, as they say, goes on. In February we attended a workshop on African hair care (yes, Matthew went, too, and loved every moment of it even though he wasn’t brave enough to practice on the kind people who were trying to help us learn). It was a great workshop. It was really nice to have a forum with people of another race during which we could ask questions (that we knew were ignorant questions) and not worry about being offensive. They were there to teach us, and they knew that we were there with a heart to learn. We owe a debt of gratitude to them, as they have made themselves available to field our questions anytime in the future. On a lighter note, you can begin to feel sorry for our child now. I didn’t do so well at the hair thing. I’m not really much of a preen-before-the-mirror woman. I spend about ten minutes before the mirror – tops – every day; that includes cosmetics and hair. (Those of you who are snickering, thinking that I’m stating the obvious and that you could guess that about me the moment you met me…it’s okay – laugh it up. I’m good with it.) Anyhow, I’ll need to buy a baby doll to practice on. I wonder how many thirty-year-old women Toys-R-Us sees…buying for themselves!?
Earlier this month we attended an educational session through our adoption agency that was all about becoming a multicultural family. This, too, had very helpful content. There was a panel of adult adoptees who discussed the importance in their own lives of learning about their home country and talked about their individual experiences. They also talked a great deal about working through relinquishment, coming to terms with the fact that someone, somewhere gave them for adoption, whether by choice or not.
Other than the adoption education, we are both working (two jobs for Matt), serving at church, and I’m still teaching aquatics one or two times a week, depending on the week. We have joked that we need a child to slow us down. You parents who think we are crazy or stupid to say such a thing should know that we only say it facetiously. The only thing that makes us believe we are ready for parenthood is that we serve a God who can create beauty in our children from the ashes of our mistakes – and I’m sure there will be many.
Now, on to the issue of a referral: The week before last, our social worker copied us in on an email message to the Haiti contact in the corporate office of our agency requesting an update on our referral, as she thought we had been waiting for a long time. We have tried not to focus on the calendar, but as it turns out, this Friday will mark three and a half months of waiting time. Anyhow, we heard nothing last week. Today we received a message from her that had been forwarded from the Haiti contact. Expecting news of possible timing, below is what we read:
“It is really very hard for me to say how much longer for a proposal. The families that have asked for a child under the age of 12 months will likely have to wait longer for theirs, as the demand for infants is definitely the greatest. Unfortunately I can't tell you much more than that. I'm very sorry. I can tell you that we are starting to take more children in as we see the potential of a number of children leaving soon. We are in the process of collecting paperwork for these new children. Again, I apologize I can't give you more specific information.”
So, more waiting is in store for us. While this is difficult for us as an individual waiting couple, we praise God for kindling passion in His people for the orphans of Haiti, as that is the cause of the delay. It’s a beautiful thing to be part of His work. The Haitian orphanage/adoption workers at our mission orphanage have been overrun with families wanting to serve God by defending the cause of the fatherless (Psalm 82:3-4). So, tonight, we trust Him through tears, knowing that He knows what’s best for us. We remember daily that God’s plan and timing is perfect. He will give us a child when He wants us to have one. He knew before the foundations of the earth that here, now, in 2007, we would be waiting for a child. And tonight, we wonder where that child is, and we are on our knees. Hopefully, again, our next correspondence will include a picture of our babe to share. Thanks to you all for sharing with us this journey we call adoption.
Seeking God’s face,
Matthew and Valerie
