Sunday, December 28, 2008
Musings...
Each night when we go to bed, we take a few minutes to look at Jude as he sleeps and consider how blessed we are. I've been told all parents do this. I don't really know. All I can tell you is that we do it, no matter how exhausted we are. Anyhow, when we turned the lights out last night, I said to Matthew, "So, what do you think of this life God has given us?"
He responded, "I love it."
"Even when it's hard?" I asked.
"Still love it, even when it's hard."
It was great to hear him respond that way. He is my leader, the head of our household. We are partners, but at the end of the day before God it is he who takes responsibility for the decisions and direction of our family. He feels the pressure of providing and leading and teaching our son and...he loves it. That sure does a wife's heart good!
We don't want to give the impression that our life is without challenge. It isn't. We have all kinds of challenges, the least of which is paying bills! We've learned how hard it is to continue to have a growing marriage when you have an adopted child who you have to work so hard to help feel safe that you can't leave them to have a date night very easily. We're challenged to make our schedules work so that we can both earn money and coordinate child care and be all the places we need to be when we need to be there and still spend time as a family. And it'll get harder as Matthew starts school in January. But, we've also learned that God meets our needs and teaches us along the way.
What do I think of this life God has given us? Well, it's a grand adventure, and you never know what God is going to do. I never imagined that having Jude would be this good. I never knew God would give Matt a desire to go back to school or that He planned for me to teach at a college. Some people say that you only go around once, so grab for all the gusto you can. I say, you only go around once. Do it in the will of God and it'll be a great ride.
He responded, "I love it."
"Even when it's hard?" I asked.
"Still love it, even when it's hard."
It was great to hear him respond that way. He is my leader, the head of our household. We are partners, but at the end of the day before God it is he who takes responsibility for the decisions and direction of our family. He feels the pressure of providing and leading and teaching our son and...he loves it. That sure does a wife's heart good!
We don't want to give the impression that our life is without challenge. It isn't. We have all kinds of challenges, the least of which is paying bills! We've learned how hard it is to continue to have a growing marriage when you have an adopted child who you have to work so hard to help feel safe that you can't leave them to have a date night very easily. We're challenged to make our schedules work so that we can both earn money and coordinate child care and be all the places we need to be when we need to be there and still spend time as a family. And it'll get harder as Matthew starts school in January. But, we've also learned that God meets our needs and teaches us along the way.
What do I think of this life God has given us? Well, it's a grand adventure, and you never know what God is going to do. I never imagined that having Jude would be this good. I never knew God would give Matt a desire to go back to school or that He planned for me to teach at a college. Some people say that you only go around once, so grab for all the gusto you can. I say, you only go around once. Do it in the will of God and it'll be a great ride.
Jude is...
Here are some random quick thoughts to help update:
Jude is...
...enjoying the snow! He loves to be outside, and the cold doesn't bother him a bit.
...growing! He's gained five pounds and a couple of inches since he got home - we love hand-me-down clothes! He's grown out of his 18 month clothing and into a 2T...and now out of some of those!
...growing more! He has two new teeth since he got home!
...funny! He loves to laugh, and he makes us laugh all the time. His first real, unguarded belly laugh came about a month ago, and he laughs more and more all the time.
...a happy kid. He wakes up happy each day and sings and chatters through the day.
...learning! He says quite a lot. "Help, please" is one of our favorites. It's much better than the alternative screaming in frustration when he can't do something!
...beautiful! I know, we're biased, but nonetheless...I'm learning a lot about how to care for his hair and skin to keep both healthy, and he is very handsome!
..."a joy!" That's how his papa finishes the sentence.
...learning that he won't be hungry and that he'll always be fed. His food anxiety is waning little by little as he learns that mama and papa will always give him food when he's hungry.
...still sleeping restlessly. He sleeps through the night, but still does some crying and head-banging in his sleep. It's getting less and less, but still happens. This, too, shall pass, we are sure.
...still learning that he's safe. He still gets nervous and doesn't sleep after big experiences, like family gatherings in new places, etc. We went to a wedding recently and he had a fun time for the most part, but slept horribly for a couple of days after. He also gets nervous when we take him out and about and one of us has to run into a store while he and the other one wait in the car.
...a blessing to many!
Jude is...
...enjoying the snow! He loves to be outside, and the cold doesn't bother him a bit.
...growing! He's gained five pounds and a couple of inches since he got home - we love hand-me-down clothes! He's grown out of his 18 month clothing and into a 2T...and now out of some of those!
...growing more! He has two new teeth since he got home!
...funny! He loves to laugh, and he makes us laugh all the time. His first real, unguarded belly laugh came about a month ago, and he laughs more and more all the time.
...a happy kid. He wakes up happy each day and sings and chatters through the day.
...learning! He says quite a lot. "Help, please" is one of our favorites. It's much better than the alternative screaming in frustration when he can't do something!
...beautiful! I know, we're biased, but nonetheless...I'm learning a lot about how to care for his hair and skin to keep both healthy, and he is very handsome!
..."a joy!" That's how his papa finishes the sentence.
...learning that he won't be hungry and that he'll always be fed. His food anxiety is waning little by little as he learns that mama and papa will always give him food when he's hungry.
...still sleeping restlessly. He sleeps through the night, but still does some crying and head-banging in his sleep. It's getting less and less, but still happens. This, too, shall pass, we are sure.
...still learning that he's safe. He still gets nervous and doesn't sleep after big experiences, like family gatherings in new places, etc. We went to a wedding recently and he had a fun time for the most part, but slept horribly for a couple of days after. He also gets nervous when we take him out and about and one of us has to run into a store while he and the other one wait in the car.
...a blessing to many!
Here's To My Great Men...
I am so fortunate to have several precious men in my life. This Christmas Matthew and Jude and I had some much-needed reclusive hibernation at home. It was so nice to be home...just the three of us...for a few days. One day, papa (Matthew) decided to occupy Jude so that I could do some sewing downstairs in preparation for Christmas with my parents and siblings on New Year's Day. As I was working away at (what I hope turns out to be) something wonderful for my mother, I had the pleasure of eavesdropping on a father and his son upstairs. Matthew is a super papa to Jude. He had told me that he won't call him "bud" because he doesn't want to be Jude's buddy; he has been called to be his father, and he takes that difference very seriously. I listened as the two of them ran all over the house wrestling and laughing and shouting and singing...and I heard Matthew teaching and Jude learning...and I felt so blessed. As Jude's mama, it's nice to be needed. But it's even nicer to have a spouse who is a partner, capitalizing on teachable moments even at Jude's young age to begin helping him grow into a man who loves Christ and loves people. Here's to my two special men...
And then there's Uncle Mike. Muko-Muh, as Jude calls him, is very special to us. He is so fun with Jude, and like Jude's papa, he's like a kid himself. He, too, loves Christ and is a teacher to our Jude, and Jude loves to spend time with him. One of Uncle Mike's specialties is scaring people, and I'm sure that as Jude feels safer and safer he will learn the art of leaving people breathless with fear as well...I'd better be on my toes. I'm sure mama will be the butt of many scaring jokes soon enough! Here's a picture of Uncle Mike being inducted into God-parenting. (Aunt LeAnn gave him diaper duty. Once he realized she was serious, he stepped up like a pro.)
Jude also has two wonderful grandfathers who love him dearly. He and Grandpa Bowen like "big people cups" and everytime Jude is with Grandpa Bowen he comes to him over and over to drink from his glass. He loves it because "Bah-pa's" glass is large enough so that the opening covers his whole face, so he can see the water as it comes toward his mouth. Grandpa Bowen has all kinds of plans to make a fort for Jude on his property (remember, Grandpa, he'll be expecting you to "camp out" with him), and help us teach Jude how to fish, and all sorts of other fun outdoor things.
Bah-pa Garrett finds great joy in babysitting his grandbabies, and he has been a blessing to us on several occassions as he's come to watch Jude during the day. He's great fun, as he never seems worried about what's on his list of things to do at home; rather, he just comes to play and enjoy time with Jude. He is a blessing to us!
I praise God for the men he's placed in Jude's life - and in mine!
And then there's Uncle Mike. Muko-Muh, as Jude calls him, is very special to us. He is so fun with Jude, and like Jude's papa, he's like a kid himself. He, too, loves Christ and is a teacher to our Jude, and Jude loves to spend time with him. One of Uncle Mike's specialties is scaring people, and I'm sure that as Jude feels safer and safer he will learn the art of leaving people breathless with fear as well...I'd better be on my toes. I'm sure mama will be the butt of many scaring jokes soon enough! Here's a picture of Uncle Mike being inducted into God-parenting. (Aunt LeAnn gave him diaper duty. Once he realized she was serious, he stepped up like a pro.)
Jude also has two wonderful grandfathers who love him dearly. He and Grandpa Bowen like "big people cups" and everytime Jude is with Grandpa Bowen he comes to him over and over to drink from his glass. He loves it because "Bah-pa's" glass is large enough so that the opening covers his whole face, so he can see the water as it comes toward his mouth. Grandpa Bowen has all kinds of plans to make a fort for Jude on his property (remember, Grandpa, he'll be expecting you to "camp out" with him), and help us teach Jude how to fish, and all sorts of other fun outdoor things.
Bah-pa Garrett finds great joy in babysitting his grandbabies, and he has been a blessing to us on several occassions as he's come to watch Jude during the day. He's great fun, as he never seems worried about what's on his list of things to do at home; rather, he just comes to play and enjoy time with Jude. He is a blessing to us!
I praise God for the men he's placed in Jude's life - and in mine!
"How are things going with baby?"
A few weeks ago a friend asked me how things were going with baby, and I realized it's far past time to update our blog! Here is what I told him: First of all, everyone talks about the "terrible two" year. Well, we're still waiting for the "terrible" part. Jude understands what no means, and maybe that's a necessity to make the second year survivable...but we haven't had any terrible yet. We've only been blessed.
We are enjoying Jude so very much. He's funny and precious and such a gift. And, he's sure growing us up! I guess that's part of parenting...you have to finish growing up yourself. Ha!
Having Jude in our lives is fabulous. The reality, I told my friend, is that we are never so blessed as we are when we're in the center of God's will, and for us, being Jude's parents is exactly that.
We are enjoying Jude so very much. He's funny and precious and such a gift. And, he's sure growing us up! I guess that's part of parenting...you have to finish growing up yourself. Ha!
Having Jude in our lives is fabulous. The reality, I told my friend, is that we are never so blessed as we are when we're in the center of God's will, and for us, being Jude's parents is exactly that.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
All Sorts of Wild Fun!
Sorry for the delay in posting! I'm just getting operational again after the hard drive crash. Check the previous posts, as I added a couple of photos. We're still working to recover the rest of our photos, but in the meantime...
By way of update, Jude continues to adjust very well. Aside from us, he's made connections with Uncle Mike and Aunt LeAnn, both of his grandmas, and he's starting to connect with one of his grandpas. This is really great stuff, and it's fun to watch. Our two big challenges are with food and sleep. He likes just about everything we put in front of him - even Brussels sprouts - so it's not that type of food challenge. His challenge comes from the experience of other kids taking anything he drops. So, if I even go to the counter he is beside himself because he's afraid that whatever food is up there he isn't going to get. Basically, if it isn't in his hands he's pretty certain he won't get to eat. His papa was blowing on his plate to cool his food one night and when Matt put his finger in Jude's squash to be sure it was cool enough, Jude pretty well came unglued.
Sleeping is up and down. When we have a big day, he sleeps fitfully through the night, banging his head on the mattress and crying in his sleep. Since his life is full of new experiences, we have a lot of "big days". Usually Sunday night is rough. He's getting pretty comfortable at church, because he sees Uncle Mike and Aunt LeAnn and both sets of grandparents there. But it's still a big building with a lot of people, so it's a big deal for him.
At home, however, he is good for all kinds of wild fun. And, we've been to pick apples because Jude loves applesauce! Enjoy the photos! (It was a little wet and chilly that day...thus the wrinkled up face!)
By way of update, Jude continues to adjust very well. Aside from us, he's made connections with Uncle Mike and Aunt LeAnn, both of his grandmas, and he's starting to connect with one of his grandpas. This is really great stuff, and it's fun to watch. Our two big challenges are with food and sleep. He likes just about everything we put in front of him - even Brussels sprouts - so it's not that type of food challenge. His challenge comes from the experience of other kids taking anything he drops. So, if I even go to the counter he is beside himself because he's afraid that whatever food is up there he isn't going to get. Basically, if it isn't in his hands he's pretty certain he won't get to eat. His papa was blowing on his plate to cool his food one night and when Matt put his finger in Jude's squash to be sure it was cool enough, Jude pretty well came unglued.
Sleeping is up and down. When we have a big day, he sleeps fitfully through the night, banging his head on the mattress and crying in his sleep. Since his life is full of new experiences, we have a lot of "big days". Usually Sunday night is rough. He's getting pretty comfortable at church, because he sees Uncle Mike and Aunt LeAnn and both sets of grandparents there. But it's still a big building with a lot of people, so it's a big deal for him.
At home, however, he is good for all kinds of wild fun. And, we've been to pick apples because Jude loves applesauce! Enjoy the photos! (It was a little wet and chilly that day...thus the wrinkled up face!)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Adjustments for baby....
For being here just a week, Jude is doing well, but overall he's had some challenges adjusting. He feels very safe in our house with Matthew and I, but anytime we go out of the house with him to visit church or anything else, we generally can expect a major episode either that day or the day after as he cries and just laments. I have held him through more than one forty minute crying session. Our hearts break for him.
On Monday evening, he went into mourning for a full twenty-four hours. He had a horrible crying session on Monday night, and then on Tuesday he literally sat on my lap the entire day either crying, sleeping, or just sucking his finger and staring at the wall. He only ate a little bit at lunch, and was just very sullen all day. In the evening, he started to perk up a little, and he's been off and on since. We are very watchful that he doesn't get overwhelmed.
Adoption is a wonderful thing, but it can be very difficult on the child for the first few weeks and months. To us, we have a wonderful addition to our family. To him, he's been kidnapped by strangers. One of the best things we can do for him is to "protect him" from so many wonderful and well-intentioned people who want so badly to touch him, because that's too scary for him. We've been as careful as possible to keep him away from crowds.
However, when he's at home and feeling safe he is a real scream. He's so fun and brings such delight. He is all boy, through and through, just how God made him: he likes to beat, throw, kick, push, chase and wrestle - and all of those things just delight him!
As soon as we have the computer with our photos back, we'll post some so you can see his fun little face!
On Monday evening, he went into mourning for a full twenty-four hours. He had a horrible crying session on Monday night, and then on Tuesday he literally sat on my lap the entire day either crying, sleeping, or just sucking his finger and staring at the wall. He only ate a little bit at lunch, and was just very sullen all day. In the evening, he started to perk up a little, and he's been off and on since. We are very watchful that he doesn't get overwhelmed.
Adoption is a wonderful thing, but it can be very difficult on the child for the first few weeks and months. To us, we have a wonderful addition to our family. To him, he's been kidnapped by strangers. One of the best things we can do for him is to "protect him" from so many wonderful and well-intentioned people who want so badly to touch him, because that's too scary for him. We've been as careful as possible to keep him away from crowds.
However, when he's at home and feeling safe he is a real scream. He's so fun and brings such delight. He is all boy, through and through, just how God made him: he likes to beat, throw, kick, push, chase and wrestle - and all of those things just delight him!
As soon as we have the computer with our photos back, we'll post some so you can see his fun little face!
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